Argh!

This ticks me off.  Seriously.  I am truly angry right now.  Certain things in physics do this to me.  I probably wouldn't be so mad if I had watched the research at the end.  They could have explained things to me and dispelled some of the confusion and frustration.  But I didn't make it that far.  I watched the videos and more or less flipped out.  I scared Roommate Steve with my growls of cranial discomfort.  I have the same issues with why hot water freezes faster than cold water.  And how Santa can fit down the chimney.  Gah!  Watch it.

SNOW

It's all melted now, but check out the snow in this backyard! 

"I did it all by myself. You didn't help me, not Dad, not Atticus, not you. Just me!"

This is the one smile we got from Maggie that whole morning. She hates the snow very much. I think that's mostly because she can't move in her snow pants. It's pretty funny to watch.

Ry took the kids for tube rides.

It was terribly exciting... but I don't need it yet. I sure hope it comes again just before Christmas though!

Was he ever mad.

The second week of Abigail's life was CA-RA-ZY. I was an emotional masterpiece as were Jo, Tic, and Mags. Everyone was loving Abigail but just a mess. I don't think there was a single day that week that Ryan didn't come home to find me in tears and someone in time out. The following Monday was a turning point for me. I was bathing the kids and Atticus started whining about having to get washed. My emotions started to build. I paused. I could either start yelling... or ... I could take pictures. 

Because he looked SO angry. 

Not a little angry, but ready to cut my head off angry... one of his more common threats. 

If looks could kill...

We'd all be dead right now.

At this point I was belly laughing.

And he was not.

It's hard when Mom takes care of your physical needs.

And you're four.

And you just can't be bothered with soap.

Sometimes you just have to turn your back on the enemy.

In the end Atticus became so depressed he tried to fall asleep and block me out completely.

Perhaps not my finest moment as a Mother, but ever since I've been more able to keep my emotions under control.

A hard day.

It doesn't matter how often I do the dishes. When I walk in the kitchen the counters are covered in a mess. I am shocked at how quickly the piles grow. Laundry. Doesn't seem to make any difference if I'm quick to change loads of laundry. Inevitably, when I put in the last of the kids clothes- Miss Abigail blows out and somehow hits at least two blankets with her yellow poop. I try to keep a level head with these chores. I know I've got a lot on my plate right now and not a lot of time to accomplish it all. I'm sure you can relate

But the thing that's killing me today is where I make room for my children. I was thinking about how everyone says they're busy. And pretty much everyone is busy. We take on more than we can actually complete in a 24 hour period. But there are different kinds of busy.

If you're a student and your taking a lot of credits and it's the week before finals you are busy, with some nasty consequences if you don't accomplish what you've taken on... bad grades and possibly failing classes. Those consequences are not awesome.

How about busy at work. If you don't do a good job you might not get the raise your hoping for or... worse case scenario- you might lose your job. Also not awesome consequences.

My busy is different. I've taken on the task of being a home maker. I've been told this task is EASY. That I have it so, so, so easy because I just stay at home. That's a word for word quote. I'd hate to see difficult. I love being a homemaker. But today I feel like my tasks and their consequenses are extremley unfair. Besides the cleaning, cooking side of being a homemaker (which is definitely a full time position in and of itself at the stage or life we're in) I am trying oh so hard to raise 4 beautiful children. And they happen to have a few needs. And even more wants. All 4 of them need me and want me. While a student might fail a class and an employee might get fired perchance they fall short at their given tasks, my job is to make people. And not just to make any kind of people. To make them truly extraordinary. To create an environment like a temple, full of the Spirit. To play with them. To teach them. To be there when they have questions. To stop and look at them when I answer. To kiss every hurt and correct poor behavior. My job is to rub their legs in the middle of the night when they're crying with growing pains. It's a 24 hour a day job for a lot of years to come. And if I mess up- if I don't complete the task correctly- I ruin people. And not just any people, the ones I love, the ones that are mine. I'm feeling the pressure today, and feeling extremely inadequate for the job.

I try some days to practice a certain rule: Say yes as often as possible. Whenever one of them asks for something- if possible- say yes. Just drop what I'm doing and say yes. Read to me? Yes. Make cookies? Yes. Paint? Yes. What about when it's something you really can't do right then... you either say no or put it off till later. I feel like I say no all the time. So I try as often as I can to just put it off till later... giving me this eternal list of debt with my kids.

Today it was building a snowman. We went out and played in the snow Saturday morning. Jo asked before we went out if I'd help her build a snowman- she'd tried the night before by herself and couldn't get it very big. So I'd said yes. First Ryan and I made the kids a little hill in the back yard to sled down (very little). By the time we were done Abigial needed to nurse. As I was headed inside Jo's sweet voice, "But mama, you said you'd build a snowman with me." So I apologized, explained my situation, and asked if we could do it Monday. Being a sweetheart she agreed. First thing this morning she remembered that snowman. First chance we got I bundled the kids up and took them out to try and make that snowman. It took 1/2 an hour to get snow clothes on. By the time I was out there Mags was crying and so was I and the snow wouldn't pack very well and I just called the whole thing off. So now the kids are rotting their brains in front of a movie and I'm up here trying to figure out how on earth it's fair. How on earth am I supposed to do a good job at my task? I have great intentions with my kids. But I don't have enough minutes to meet all their wants and needs.

P.S. I actually have needs and wants too. They're not aware of that fact, but I do.

On top of it all I'm on a really stupid no sugar diet until Thanksgiving. If there's one thing I can go to for comfort when I'm feeling down it's a treat. But not today. Today I'm eating cottage cheese.

You don't have to say anything. It's just life. And I usually love it.

I just want some chocolate and a break.

Halloween

Me, Tic, and Mags enjoyed watching Jo in her cute Kindergarten program. She loved the attention. 

This little gal is one of her close friends at school. She asked Jo a few days after school began, "Josephine do you want to be my friend?" So heart warming.

We picked a costume fitting for Atticus's personality this year.

Most adorable little pirate around.

I loved Jo's costume this year. She decided she wanted to be a black cat and then put her costume together pretty much by her self. She's so creative! After looking in the mirror she said, "I kind of look like a bunny!" Indeed. Could have made those ears a tad smaller. But she made them- so they were perfect in my book.

Trick or treating fun.

At one point Atticus yelled out, "I could use some help over here!" and dropped his bucket. Apparently the candy was just weighing him down. Too heavy. He tried to make his friend, Almon, carry it for him:).

I'm so sad we didn't get a picture of Ryan this year! He looked fantabulous as Indiana Jones. He even won the prize "Most Elaborate Costume" at work:). It's his new brag subject. Okay, not really:). Hope you all had a happy Halloween too!

P.S. Ryan sent me this youtube video to help with candy trading questions. You might find it helpful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGdYhmFH-DQ

Book Review: Mistborn Trilogy

I am a re-reader.  I catch a lot of flack about this.  "There are so many good books out there, go read something new."  I agree with them mostly.  But what about those books that are so good they burn a hole in your consciousness?  Can you really just read them and then set them adrift like so many leaves on the wind?  (Its Autumn I am allowed to wax poetic in Autumn)

I recently re-read the Mistborn Trilogy.  I've read Mistborn three or four times.  But this is only the second time I've read the series.  I recogonize that it is kind of pointless to review these books on this blog.  Many of the people who visit have read Mistborn.  And the others have already refused to read it.  Well you second group?  You're wrong.  These books are...I can't even choose a word.  Any word I would choose would either be too cliche or not enough.

"Why do you like them so much Ryan?"  We have to talk about the magic system to begin with.  That doesn't mean its the most important thing I like about it but it is a big one.  The magic system in these books is the most logical and just about the coolest one ever created.  It's based on metal and is all about consequence.  There are three branches to the power, but in case you haven't read the books I'm only going to tell you about one.  It's called Allomancy.  You ingest certain types of metal, in the form of flakes or powder, and by "burning" them you get enhanced abilities.  Certain metals give certain abilities.  Some people say it sounds weird or not interesting, but I say they are weird and not interesting!  Come on folks.  Step back and enjoy the uniqueness and balance of a magic system that is truly remarkable in the field of fantasy.  Get over yourselves.

The characters in the book are well developed, interesting and full of life.  I will say that some of them are a bit type cast, but I can forgive a book for something that minor.  Especially when the plot is so incredible.  I honestly can think of few other books that see the end from the beginning so well.  It wraps up incredibly with shocks and surprises that maybe you see coming but in this case that doesn't lessen the pay off.

Finally the biggest reason you should read this book is the themes.  They are complex and real, despite it being a fantasy.  Its take on ideas like trust, and faith, and how real love is based on those emotions.  And how the only way to show faith and trust is to act, or let others act, despite your own desires.  Don't even get me started on sacrifice and friendship.

The last thing I have to offer by way of recommendation?  I was crying fifteen minutes ago, as I read the climax of this series.  Big crocodile tears rolling down my cheeks.  Go ask my wife how often I cry.

So there you go.  First review done.  I think I'll do more of these.

Stinking Cute Pictures of Miss Meg

I love this little 2 year old.

She has the softest, sweetest little voice.

And really good snuggles.

She loves her froggie jammies, painting, playing in the dirt outside, and milk.

Mags tubbies average about 45 minutes, and she no longer eats food. We don't know how she's survived this long.

She's a doll.

And she sure loves her two sisters and brother.

We're pretty happy she's stuck to us.

My favorite is when she says, "I love you too much, baby."

For some reason these pictures remind me of cousin Lily, who we miss very much.