Still thinking of Kate.

Kate's burial was beautiful. I was so touched by Ryan's song, Briana's incredible testimony, and Eric's dedicatory prayer. It was quite a privilege to be there. The children were well behaved, considering, and I was mostly able to go slow and feel the moment. After the ceremony had finished, people were taking their time, placing flowers on Kate's little casket and trying in earnest to lift Eric and Briana's weeping hearts.
I stepped back and watched. The love abounding was visible. 

I wandered around the headstones already placed. I read names, dates, and hopeful words of a life to come. So many parents have lost children. It was heartbreaking to try, for just a moment, to feel the hurt, the ache of each mother. To attempt to mourn with so many who have mourned. Who are still mourning.

Just then I looked up and saw my sweet Abigail toddling through the Angel Garden, casually looking, exploring, always turning back to my husband. The world stopped for just a second. I heard nothing.

This sight, taken by Jennifer Grigg, captures my feelings of that moment. I felt for a brief second what it will be like on that morning. The First Resurrection. These cherished babes, rising up, returning to their infant bodies. Looking to their parents out of those same, pure eyes. You can see the reach from Abigail. And Ryan, reaching back with such a desire, a fullness of wanting that child, of having waited so long.

I do not understand so much. I do not understand how Eric and Briana's separation from Kate will ever be okay. It is temporary, but right now it feels oh so long. However, I do have a particle of faith that someday, somehow, it will be okay. And all those children who have been longed for in a way no person could ever describe through words, their spirits will return to their perfected bodies. And Kate will reach for her Mama and Dad.

Oh how wonderful the Plan of Happiness is. The plan for a family, together forever.